The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm
by Zergling
Summary: The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm is a program that focuses on how the Zerg carry out day-to-day activities. Some funny incidents. Ends with a Zealot crying. Garunteed laugh. Stay tuned for epsoide 2.
1. Default Chapter

The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any units here, they are owned by Blizzard Entertainment, 1998-2003  
  
Everybody sits down, a Hydralisk guard is checking the tickets, a Marine doesn't have one and is shoved out  
  
Zergling: Welcome to The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm, a program dedicated to telling all of you how we, the Jormungand Brood Zergs go about our daily lives!  
  
Hydralisk 1: I'm jealous. The Zergling can be a host of a show. I wish to be the host.  
  
Zergling: Oh, I heard that. You can be my co-host for this show.  
  
Hydralisk 1: Thank you, Zergy.  
  
Hydralisk 2: This Zergling's friendly. I like him.  
  
On stage, some Drones are putting some air inflated models of Zerg Buildings  
  
Mutalisk: This ain't right. We ought to have creep around the Zerg Buildings.  
  
Zergling: I know. OK, stand clear!  
  
PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT!  
  
The sprinkler system of the auditorium spits out some purple slimy stuff  
  
Hydralisk co-host: OK, lets start!  
  
Two drones pull out an air inflated eyeball  
  
10 Yellow Zealots: Whats that eyeball?  
  
Zergling: Ahem. It's our Overmind.  
  
Zealots: Oh, I know the Garm Brood Overmind. He wanted to kill the entire Protoss Race.  
  
Zergling: I know. Our purple one's a friendly version. He helps only the good guys for a rate of 150 minerals and gas /month.  
  
Dukey: Good to hear. We could hire you all for 3 months to help destroy the Sons of Korhal.  
  
Drone: Ok, now do you see this swimming pool with green slimy water?  
  
Zealots: YES, we do.  
  
Commercial  
  
Announcer: Hi folks, today we have the Cutey Droney¨ brand Zergling Food! Never let those cute creatures go hungry again!  
  
A picture of a Zealot patting a Zergling and the Zergling is eating the food flashes on screen  
  
Paid Audience: Wow! Nice! Cool! Kick @$$! 1000 Rewards to Cutey Droney!  
  
Announcer: Now, see? Even the Protoss can be friends to the Zerg with Cutey Droney¨ Zergling Food! To order, call (886) 452-ZERG! We will cover the toll charges for you. Get yours today for just 20 Minerals and we will include a FREE Jormungand Zergling interactive pet, talking plushie and the Zerg ScreenSaver collection CD-ROM!!  
  
Back to The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm  
  
Probes: Not so loud, dear Zealots.  
  
Zealots: Good Probes. We haven't been call 'dear' in a while.  
  
Zealots give Probes a big bear hug  
  
Wraith Pilot: That's silly. They're robots. They have no feelings.  
  
Probes: WHAT DID YOU SAY?  
  
Wraith Pilot: Nothing, nothing.  
  
Drone: Ok, this is the Spawning Pool, in which our Hatchery needs in order to make Zerglings. Without it, your host won't be here today.  
  
Zealots and Marines: What does your Hatchery hatch? Chickens? Ducks? Kangarooes? Eagles? Bears? Dinosaurs?  
  
Drone: Ok, I'll explain. See this thingy near the mineral chunks?  
  
Firebats: Where are the mineral chunks?  
  
Drone: HEY, ULTRALISK, WHY DIDN'T YOU INFLATE THE MINERAL CHUNKS?  
  
Ultralisk: Sorry, having problem with the damn air pump here.  
  
Drone: Never mind.  
  
The Drone lifts up a sloppy mineral chunk with its top folding over to the side  
  
Marines: You call that Minerals?  
  
Drone: Make do with it. Its not inflated and the air pump isn't working.  
  
Ultralisk: I've got the air pump fixed with the help of Zergy.  
  
Zergling: Please, STOP calling me Zergy!  
  
Drone: Give that to me.  
  
The Drone inflates the sloppy mineral chunk  
  
Marines: That's more like it.  
  
OK, this is the Hatchery. You see the caterpillar thingys crawling on the floor?  
  
6 Zealots run up on stage to take a closer look  
  
Zealot 1 is holding up a larva for everyone to see  
  
Zealot 1: See this? It's a Zerg Larva.  
  
PFFTTT  
  
Zealot 1: What happened?  
  
Zealot 2: You pierced the air inflated Larva.  
  
Zealot 1: Sorry Zergling. I hope it's ok.  
  
Zergling: If you break 1 more, you'll have to pay 5 minerals.  
  
Zealot 1: That's peanuts.  
  
Zealot 1 tosses a few mineals at Zergling  
  
Zergling: Thank you, dear Zealot.  
  
Zealot 1 gives Zergling a HH--UU--GG--EE bear hug  
  
Marines: First time I saw a Protoss Zealot hug a Zerg Zergling.  
  
Everyone: HA HA HA HA HEE HAW HAW HA HEE HAW HA HEE HAW HAW HA HA HA HAW HEE HEE HAW HA HA HA HAW HEE HEE...  
  
5 min 50 secs later  
  
Zealot 1 turns red in the face, sits down on stage and cries  
  
Zealot 1: Boo hoo hoo.  
  
Zealot 2: What's the matter with you, buddy?  
  
PFFTTT  
  
Zealot 2: Oh dear, you sat on the Hive and burst it!  
  
Everyone except Zealots 1-6 and Fenix: THE TROUBLEMAKER! CHASE HIM OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zergling: Softer folks, but sorry, the show will have to end. The Zealot destroyed the starlight of today's show, the Hive. We will continue tomorrow. You can use today's tickets for tomorrow's show and all of you will get a 5 mineral compensation for the interruption.  
  
Zealot 2: All your fault, bud. I so badly wanted to watch the show.  
  
Fenix: Carry your buddy to my Carrier and I will give him psycological conselling.  
  
Everybody leaves the auditorium  
  
Zergling: Lets clean up, buds. I will bring you all to Hydralisk's Burgers if you finish within 10 mins.  
  
Hydralisk co-host, Drones, Ultralisk, Mutalisk: YAY!  
  
Do you like my story? Stayed tuned to Zerg Channel 45 for tomorrow's epsoide!  
  
TV signal is cut off  
  
If you feel like it, please write a review so I can improve. I hope you enjoyed it :-) 


	2. Episode 2

The Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm Episode 2  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any units here, they are owned by Blizzard Entertainment, 1998-2003  
  
Everyone takes their seat and claps as the Drones are putting air inflated models of Zerg Structures  
  
Zergling: OK, we'll continue where we left off. Where was I before that Zealot burst the Hive?  
  
Hydralisk co-host: The Larva.  
  
Zergling: Oh right, so you've seen this caterpillar thingy? Its Zerg Larva. When our Overmind or Cerebrate needs some new units, for exapmle, a few Zerglings for playing with the Drones, the Larva will begin to change into an egg  
  
Zergling shows model of egg  
  
and after some time turn into the unit, which is in this case, the Zergling.  
  
Marine: Haw haw. Now I know how to cripple the Zerg. Kill their Larva and they wont be able to create new units. Ha ha.  
  
Zergling and Drone: Please don't attack us! Please!  
  
Marine: Not you, the Garm Brood.  
  
Zergling and Drone: Whew!  
  
Zergling: So now you know how Zerg units are created? But, we need the nessecary building to build a unit. With only the Hatchery, you can build Drones and Overlords.  
  
10 SCVs: Whats an Overlord?  
  
Commercial  
  
Announcer: To all Overminds and Cerebrates: Are you angry with the Defilers that ate up your Zerglings? Not anymore! With this Defiler-Be-Gone 5000, you can protect the Zerglings and make sure they're happy. Just spray it at the victim Defiler and it will drop dead within 10 sec! Harmless to all StarCraft units except Defilers.  
  
Paid Civilians: Wow!  
  
A Defiler is being kept in a cage is sprayed with Defiler-Be-Gone 5000  
  
Countdown timer: 9..8..7..6..5..4..  
  
The Defiler drops dead. Its eyes close and it becomes ice cold  
  
Civilians: Only 6 SECONDS!  
  
Announcer: Order yours TODAY! WHY WAIT? For Just 100 Minerals for 100 cans! We will offer compensation for each Defiler killed! Just send the Defiler remains to us! We will pay full price for it. Call 1800-259-ZERG for details! Remember, get yours today!  
  
Back toThe Lives of the Jormungand Brood Zerg Swarm Episode 2  
  
Zergling: Come in, friend.  
  
A huge flying monster with tentacles hanging from its body comes on stage  
  
Overlord: Hi all.  
  
Scout Pilot: I didn't expect this to be a real Overlord.  
  
Hydralisk co-host: Well, air inflated ones can fly unless we put helium in them and tie them to the floor.  
  
Zergling: And we don't have helium here.  
  
Marines: Whisper Lets trow some food at the Overlord.  
  
Some Marines throw apples, pears and lemons at the Overlord, the Overlord eats them up  
  
Overlord: Thank you, Marines.  
  
Zergling: The Overlord acts as the Terran's Supply Depot and the Protoss's Pylon. And, it is a detector too!  
  
Zergling: Can a Ghost please come out and cloak  
  
A Teal ghost goes on stage and cloaks  
  
Zergling: Overlord, dont use your detector organs now.  
  
Overlord: Yes.  
  
Zergling: OK, where is the Teal Ghost?  
  
Everyone: Nowhere to be seen.  
  
Zergling: OK, Overlord, detect!  
  
Probes: We see him. He's there tinkering with the voltage controls!  
  
Zergling: Where?  
  
Probes: Behind you.  
  
Before Zergling gets a chance to turn round, a shower of sparks came out from the voltage controls. A few moments later, the Auditorium is plunged into darkness  
  
Hydralisk co-host: Very very sorry folks, there has been a blackout and we are unable to continue with the show in the darkness. We hope you enjoyed today's epsoide. You may get a 10-Mineral compensation for the second interruption. You may not use today's tickets for tomorrow's show but you may get free ones at the counter tomorrow.  
  
Stay tuned for tomorrow's epsoide!  
  
Everyone leaves the Auditorium  
  
Zergling: Pack up. I'll be giving you a treat to McDonalds.  
  
Drones: Nice Zergling.  
  
Drone nudges Zergling  
  
Meanwhile at McDonalds...  
  
Adults: AAAAHHHHhhhhhHHHhhhh! Aliens!  
  
The adults climb up to the tables  
  
Children: Hi Zergling! You're from StarCraft, right?  
  
Zergling: Yes!  
  
1 Boy: Say Zerg-eese when I take a snap of you!  
  
Zergling: Zergeese!  
  
Zergling hops to the counter  
  
Lady behind the counter: What would you like?  
  
Zergling: I want 100 McCrispys, 100 Upsize cokes...  
  
TV Signal is sut off  
  
That's epsoide 2 for you. Please write a review :-) 


End file.
